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"Top Ten Ways to Build a Wonderful Marriage"

     This book was written with the belief that if a husband and wife have a wonderful relationship then they will take that joy everywhere they go and this world will become a better place for all of us. Reading this book does not mean you have problems in your marriage, it means you want your good marriage to be better. However, you know it's not easy to experience growth without suggestions and encouragement. We have been challenged and experienced growth many times in our married life by other couples, books and opportunities that we have encountered. This book will give the two of you some topics to consider and discuss as you journey together toward a better relationship. "Good enough" is not good enough for you and my book will help you grow toward a wonderful marriage.
     The book has an Impimatur from the Diocese of Dallas, Texas. This means that you can read it knowing that it does not go against the teachings of the church.

"The Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur are official declarations
that a book or pamphlet is free from doctrinal or moral error."

     There is an interesting story about how this book came into existence. As a deacon in the Catholic church, I give a sermon one weekend a month. In November of 2005, I was planning my homily when I was inspired to write a top ten list for a good marriage.  I sat down and wrote it in half an hour. After the list was presented to the congregation as a part of my homily their feedback was very positive so I decided to attempt to write a book using the list. After much writing, revising, critiqueing and editing - here it is. I hope you enjoy the stories, every one is a true and personal experience, and that this book makes a positive difference in your marriage.
     I have copied the Foreword below for your reading pleasure.

YBIC (Your Brother In Christ)
Deacon Pat
Praise for Top Ten Ways to
Build a Wonderful Marriage

“In Top Ten Ways to Build a Wonderful Marriage,
Deacon Pat Hayes fleshes out pragmatic tools that will
accompany every couple in their marriage journey. The
authentic messages communicated in this book encourage
couples wherever they might be in their relationship. The
insights fleshed out will help not only make good marriages
better, but give struggling marriages hope. This inspired
work is for the faithful who are not satisfied with a good
relationship, but are seeking, sacrificing, and devoted to a
great one! Through Christ our Lord…All things are
possible. You will want to share this book with every couple you care about.”
Tammy Amosson,
Spiritual Fitness Minister- Author,
Presenter,
Itinerant Minister
“Deacon Pat offers practical advice, tips, help and wisdom
for married couples and for those contemplating marriage.
Through the many relatable, down to earth experiences and
examples that are shared, the reader will discover that
holiness can be found in the simple ways a husband and
wife love each other and live out their marriage each day. It
is invigorating to find that the true joy is in the journey, not
in having arrived.”
Pat Bianco

Foreword
There are very few events that are planned with
the same detail as a wedding, but something always
seems to happen that wasn't anticipated. What about
yours? Let your mind wander back to your wedding
day. Maybe you have to go back only a few months, or
maybe you have to go back a number of years. Recall
the memory of that unforgettable moment when you
were standing next to the person you loved so much
you thought your heart would burst. In your mind
were visions of a perfect relationship with your perfect
mate sharing a love that would grow stronger every
day. You meant it with all of your heart when you said
until death would you part or some similar words. You
dreamed of a beautiful life of warm conversations,
intimate moments and living happily ever after.
Skip forward to today and ask yourself where that
dream is now. Has it come true? Or is it dying a slow
death as your relationship fades into something less
than your ideal vision of a great life together? You
may have planned your wedding in exacting detail but
you can't plan a marriage in the same way. A
marriage can't be scripted. If your marriage dreams
haven't come true, there is good news: you can revive
them. Your relationship can grow from wherever it is
today into the wonderful, loving marriage you want.
That's where this book comes into play. The intent of
this book is to give you ideas and suggestions to tune
up your marriage.

If you aren't married, don't close this book–keep
reading. The ideas in these pages may help you find
your special person, plus it will give you topics to
discuss with your future spouse. You will have a head
start on many married couples who had to learn how
to build a relationship through trial and error. While
dating, you need to build a firm foundation that will
enable your marriage to grow into a wonderful
relationship. This book will help.
Who am I and why am I writing this book? Let me
start with who I’m not. I don’t fall into the category of
“trained professional.” In other words, I am not a
marriage counselor, psychologist, or therapist, so this
book is written in a non-technical, everyday language.
In fact, I make my living in the computer industry
(perhaps it's true that nerds make great husbands).
My main qualification for writing this book is that I
have been married for over thirty five years to a
loving, caring woman, and we have a wonderful
marriage. As a result of our marriage success, I have
something to say that I feel strongly about, and I
would like to share with you. It is my goal, my dream,
that your marriage will grow stronger as you work
your way through this book. I will open our marriage
and share our love for each other with you, our
brothers and sisters in Christ.